Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
