I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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