id be glad to
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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