I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize