yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
