I think my vagina is haunted
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
