Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I pour the whiskey from now on
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
