Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
