I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
