Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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