do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
