i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
