I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
He told me they were just razor bumps!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
