please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
