gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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