All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
