i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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