..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
