Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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