why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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