you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
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He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
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Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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