I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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