I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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