Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
