my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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