he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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