Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
tell me about the fingering
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