Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
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