How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
