nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
