After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
