that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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