for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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