so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Randomize
