I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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