just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
