Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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