Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
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