just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
