after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Randomize
