Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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