sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
