Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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