There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
