I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
