Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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