Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
