He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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