dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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