i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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