WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
