if i can run in heels then i can drive
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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