I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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