Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
