What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
