it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
