Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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