Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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