standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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