The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
